relationship communication and the importance Of listening
Communication and the importance Of listening is enormous. Most people focus on their oral communication and are utterly convinced that good speaking equals effective communication. The ability to speak well is a necessary part of successful communication. The ability to listen is equally as important especially in relationship communication.
The importance of listening in communication is often easy to see when we look at our listening skills with those closest to us. In particular I am referring to your spouse, partner, children or friends. Pay attention to the everyday discussions we share with those close to us with whom we think we are communicating well.
How often do you find yourself mindlessly saying “yes”when one of these people is trying to tell you something only to have say just after pardon me, I missed that sorry I was miles away. Have you been talking to one of these people and you are not really listening completely to what they have to say because you are already preparing your reply?
“Uh huh” syndrome is a really irritating aspects of relationship communication
This is more common than you think and yet we think we are great communicators. In order to interact effectively we have to be able to listen to and understand what the other person is saying. Not just hear because the acoustics are good or because the other person is speaking in a loud enough tone. It is important that we hear what the person is saying because we have taken the time to actively listen.
Listening takes effort and when it comes to getting better relationship communication skills there is no getting around that. When we are listening to music or television our attention is often not focused. If we want our communication skills to get stronger it is important that we not day dream in a conversation and instead concentrate fully on what is being said .
No doubt this can be difficult. Not every conversation we are in is fascinating for us. If however, we want to improve these skills focus is crucial especially when dealing with younger children and teenagers.
By giving the other person time to completely finish what they are saying before you begin to create your answer is also important to good listening. To do this even better wait a few seconds before you begin to reply. This gives the other person a chance to add anything else they may have thought of. By waiting an additional moment before you reply you also let the other person know they have been heard completely. If you practice this for a time people will relax when talking to you because they will know that they don’t have to rush to get their two cents in. They will appreciate the fact that they can communicate with you and be heard.
When having those important conversations with the people closest to you, try taking it one step further and reflectively listen by feeding back what they said.
For example By doing this you give who you are talking with the chance to correct any misconceptions that may have occurred or to clarify any points they were trying to make. This heightens the level of communication you are striving for . And the person you are communicating with will certainly feel more relaxed and willing to share with you given the care you are taking with the conversation.
The strategy of repeating back for clarity had been extremely useful when I have had conversations with my teenagers. It also comes in handy when speaking with a spouse or partner. Often times in those situations we begin to assume we know what the other person means. By giving them a chance to finish what they are saying it allows for greater intimacy, something we often want in our relationships but wonder why we are not getting .
The techniques I just described are equally powerful in the workplace especially in customer care If you are really listening to what your clients needs are it will be that much easier to fulfill those needs. The customer will be impressed that you listened to what they were communicating instead of just going into sales mode. I have personally found in sales that the more I listened and the less I talked the better my sales ratio was and the more satisfied my clients were. That is a win-win situation for all involved.
The importance of listening in relationship communication is definitely underestimated. Good listeners are often some of the best speakers because they have taken the time to find out what is important to other people. If you understand what is important to people then you understand how to reach them.
