Affairs can tear the fabric of a relationship wide open and destroy the bond of trust that is the strongest force for keeping people together. Healing after the affair therefore is vital to mend broken trust and much to the surprise of many couples can reforge their marriage into something much stronger than before the affair.

How can surviving an affair lead to a better marriage? These 3 tips may explain the process…

1. Communication

Many marriage counselor have proven that couples who do not talk about the affair are statistically worse off that those who do. While it may seem like the hardest thing in the world to talk about when you are so hurt and angry the only way to move forward is to communicate your problems and listen to their reasons for their terrible choice. To be able to do this though you need to be able to control your anger and bitterness or such conversations will be negative or explosive and nothing will be learned.

2. Understanding

Through communication of the marital affair you can gain an understanding of the reasons behind it. This does not excuse their actions at all but without understanding these things you are not truly able to talk about the right things and maybe angry and hurt at things that you should not be. Understanding also comes in the form of knowing what was wrong with your relationship before the affair that might have led them to an affair which sometimes means you have to look at your own actions as well … again not an excuse for their actions, they made the choice but if you want to regain trust and heal your relationship after an affair you must be honest with yourself.

3. Change

Once you have an understanding of the affair and the relationship problems that might have been simmering before it you can actually start to take action, forgiveness can take time but building a better relationship from this event is the best thing you can do from a bad situation and healing after an affair will follow from this!

Obviously there is a lot more to healing from an affair so for more help click below to find guides written by expert marriage councilors that can offer you a roadmap to recovery allowing you to get past the hurt and bring love and happiness back to your life.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

James Fargo
http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/healing-after-the-affair-3-tips-to-overcome-infidelity-in-a-relationship-725394.html

Just curious on what you guys do to keep your relationship strong. Do you guys have certain hobbies you do together? What is it that you do to keep a strong bond and remain happy beside good communication & good sex?

Ok, i’ve been very happily married for 17 years now. My husband and i get asked if we are newlyweds quite often. We smile and say yes we are.

Realize now that love will come and go. Realize now that relationships have up and down points throughout a lifetime. Accepting this as fact helps you get through it better. So many think that just because one isn’t feeling love at the moment, they should end it all. When really, it’s all very normal.

Making sure real communication is open is truly important. Being great friends gets you through the roughest of times. Who wants to leave their best friend when something goes wrong? You’ll turn towards your best friend in the worst of times, and that’s why it’s so important to be each others best friend.

In a great relationship there needs to be time together and time alone. Not having to be apart. As i type it is my husbands video game night online. He does it twice a week and i normally read and take a bubble bath. We sometimes hang out wiht other friends on our own too. That little bit of alone time makes us want to spend time more with each other.

Here’s where most couples go wrong. They put jobs and kids in front of the marriage. They put friends and family in front of the marriage. Easy to think you’d never do it, until you are in 5 years and realize you’ve done it for 3 and now you two don’t have as much in common anymore and don’t communicate anymore either. Kids should never come first, but an extremly close second. Trust me, kids are happiest when their parents are happy. They also feel more secure if they are seeing their parents show affection for one another. They’ll complain and say it’s icky to see, but in the long run, it gives them a sense of security. No kid seeing their parents touch and kiss think there’s a break up about to happen.

Sex is a big indicator in any relationship and cant’ be forced. When the sex slows down you know more within the relationship has slowed down too.

Having fun things you like to do together, like a hobby, will help you through your life together. I married someone who likes much of what i like, so it’s fun doing it together. Find compramises. Learn to discuss the bad stuff so it doesn’t sit within and fester into something much bigger than it should be. That’s what i mean by open and honest communication. Anyone can sit and talk about good stuff… but what about when somethign they do is driving you nuts?

My husband doesn’t put the lid down to the garbage can. I find it disgusting. I say it to him now and then, knowing after 17 years he isn’t going to change. But i release it by telling him and then by normally saying to myself, he won’t change. It isn’t a deal breaker for me. But if i hold it in and not like it, it will fester and balloon into something worse than it really is. Open and true communication is a large key. So that you aren’t saying… and last year you did this and hte year before. Work it out so you don’t keep any of it in, but also find a way to let it go as well. Make sure you know what is important and what stupid little stuff you can live with.

Most men can’t hit a laundry hamper to save their life. I don’t know why. But is it truly important in the scheme of a life time? Only you can decide for yourself.

Don’t lose your sense of humor. Don’t feel you need to change who you are deep down due to growing older or having children. Learn to get away from the kids and let loose. Get away from the kids once a week with him alone. Once a year, or twice if you can swing it… take a week away from the kids. Just the two of you. It always rekindles the love and relationship. good luck.