Whether you’re having problems in your marriage or just want to have better mariage communication,  marriage counseling can be one  way to do this. A counselor can provide an objective ear and advice for couples who are struggling in their relationship and even for those who are doing fine, but want to ensure they don’t encounter any deep-seated problems in the future.

There are a number of reasons to get marriage communication skills; in this article we’ll look at five of the top reasons you may want to improve your marriage communication skills, or at least consider couples counseling.

One, marriage counseling can not only acts as a form of healing for troubled marriages; it can also act as a preventative measure for many large problems that may loom in a couple’s future. Whether or not you feel you need it, marriage counseling is worth looking into if you’re having problems in your marriage, or even if you’re a couple simply looking to cement your relationship more before you marry.

Two, marriage counseling can help couples find a number of workable solutions that may help their marriage. From infidelity to simple communication problems, a good therapist can help you figure out how to beat the odds and begin to heal your relationship.

Three, it is always helpful to have the ear of someone objective and distanced from your problems. Friends and family members may make good comforters and sounding boards, but they are necessarily biased. An objective therapist sees both sides and attempts to work with you to reconcile them.

Four, you married the person you’re with because you loved them; no matter what they’ve done, it’s worth trying at least once to save. To this affect, a therapist can help you determine how much your vested, and indeed, whether you truly want to be with or without them.

Five, if you have children, getting better marriage communication skill offers an alternative option to immediately divorcing or separating. While some marriages simply don’t work and won’t no matter what, an equal number suffer from misunderstandings, lack of trust and numerous other obstacles; if you have children, these problems are compounded. Marriage counseling can be an excellent option for figuring out one, if you can save your marriage, and two, how to handle questions, concerns and problems your children may have.

Marriagemax.com is an alternative marriage advice website created and run by relationship expert Mort Fertel since 2004. It covers a broad range of marriage topics and offers advice and ideas for helping out your marriage.

Kausik Dutta
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/top-five-reasons-to-get-marriage-counseling-109237.html

Technorati Tags: communication in relationships, couples communication, marriage communication, relationship communication

Marriages, it is said, are made in heaven, but the truth is that they have to be managed on earth. Just as it is imperative that you have a post-graduate management degree to manage an organisation, it is equally important to have a mature mindset and relationship management skills in order to make marriages last.

PLAYING HOUSE

Eighteen-year-old Debbie fell in love with 22-year-old David. After a whirlwind romance of barely four months, they decided to tie the knot. Not much thought was given to Debbie completing her graduation, as they were both from wealthy families, and David was the heir to the family business. While Debbie focused on having a ‘perfect fairy tale wedding’, David was keen to quickly cross the milestone of marriage, and provide a grandchild for his ageing parents. It never crossed their mind to discuss their values, priorities, lifestyles, relationship needs and their ideas about an ideal relationship with each other.

Once the fairy tale wedding was over, Debbie was at a total loss as nothing else had been thought or planned by her. David, on the other hand, got down to everyday business once the marriage milestone was crossed, and focused on procreation and recreation during the nights. All that was unsaid and unaddressed earlier started coming up as ‘issues’. Not only were their individual expectations from marriage very different, but they also did not have the tools or the skills to negotiate their differences in a win-win way. As expected, the differences escalated into ugly conflicts, with the families commenting that they ‘fight like kids’. Well, they were ‘kids’.

Many a marriage is rife with conflict because the man and woman are actually ‘Mama’s little boys’ and ‘Daddy’s little girls’, who have got together to play ‘house-house’. Soon they realise that they lack the emotional maturity to nurture and’ sustain relationships, with both running to their respective parents boohooing and complaining about how their wife/husband is being ‘mean’ to them. Such ‘biological adults’ but ‘emotional kids’ can be of any age, but more often, those who marry early face this problem.

MARRIAGE AS A GETAWAY

Coming from a dysfunctional family, Sarah had low self-worth. Her parents were in constant conflict. Sarah not only witnessed these but also had to take sides, listen to her mother’s sob stories, and meet her father’s unreasonable expectations. Above all, she was ignored by both her self-obsessed parents, leaving her feeling like an ‘emotional orphan’ in need of love and nurturing. She fell in love with James at the age of 15, and married him when she was 18.

James found her ‘child-woman’ demeanour cute and adorable to begin with. She, of course, was in search of a nurturing home away from her conflicted home. Soon after marriage, she realised that James was neither willing nor able to be an ‘emotional parent’ for the ‘emotionally needy child’ within her. The conflict began, as neither were her expectations of James parenting her satisfied, nor were James expectations of having an emotional adult as his life partner. James soon sought companionship in an ‘adult woman’ and the marriage ended in a divorce.

LOOKING FOR A PARENT SUBSTITUTE

Cheryl was raised in an orthodox and religious household, with innumerable restrictions on her. She saw marriage as her ‘ticket to freedom’, and enthusiastically okayed a proposal from Robert in London when she was only 19. She soon discovered that setting up a home in London was no easy task for her. Her dreams of freedom and life in the fast lane soon became a never-ending nightmare of cooking, cleaning, scrubbing the bathrooms, grocery shopping, and serving her husband late at night. She fought for freedom from the daily drudgery. When a very busy Robert told her that she had to handle the home single-handedly while he worked outside, she had an affair with Steven in the neighbourhood and got addicted to smoking pot. Conflicts began at home, which soon ended in a separation.

The reason for many a broken marriage is that boys and girls often get married at an early age for the wrong reasons. They are not going towards marriage or their partner, but are getting away from their parents. Often they are looking for an indulgent parent in their spouse, and that’s where the trouble begins. Such emotional kids need to grow up and learn to nurture themselves, so that they can establish an adult-adult relationship in marnage.

LIVING IN A MAKE-BELIEVE WORLD

John and Catherine were high school sweethearts and had begun dating when they were both 14. They got married after seven years of being with each other. John confessed during counselling that after being with Catherine for seven years, he married her only because he felt obliged to do so, as he had made a commitment of eternal love at the age of 14. The truth was that there was a huge mismatch of values and dreams for the future, and yet he married her out of a ‘sense of duty’.

The marriage began with a ‘silent resentment’ in John, which grew with time, and escalated into everyday conflict and emotional distancing. Obviously, when John made the commitment of undying love at the age of 14, he did not have the maturity or clarity to truly know who and what he was committing to. The phenomenon of jumping in head first into marriage, jolts many a brain after marriage, and makes them do all the thinking that they should have done pre-maritally, often leading to a breakdown of the relationship.

MATURITY IS IMPORTANT

The examples mentioned above, though often seen in early marriages, do not hold true for only biologically early marriages. A marriage can be termed an early marriage if you are marrying with a Mills and Boon idea of romance in marriage, and if you live in a Utopian world believing that marriage is the panacea to all your problems in your parental home. The disease of living in a make-believe world with unrealistic expectations from marriage can afflict people of any age.

For marriages to last longer, both partners need to be equipped with life-coping skills, both intra-personal and interpersonal. They need to know the art of constructive communication and problem-solving. They also need to find personal gratification in vitally fulfilling endeavours other than the relationship, so that both can bring value and joy to the relationship. This will also help to strike the right balance between a shared and mutually nurtured space and the individual space for both to pursue their journey of personal growth. It is such maturely managed relationships that last longer, and it is such a marriage in which you can truly be declared ‘man and wife’.

Michael Douglas
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/do-early-marriages-last-longer-130417.html

Duration : 0:8:43

Technorati Tags: "communication

Solid, step-by-step, biblical teaching on how to reduce conflict, improve communication, and heighten intimacy in marriage

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The doctor often examines the tongue to determine the general state of health of the patient. The tongue is the organ used by the body for communication. Similarly, we determine the morale level and state of mental health of the company by examining the manner of its communication. What the heart and mind think, the tongue speaks.

In sick companies, negative comments and rumours abound. Such negative energies that can sap away the morale and fruitful concentration of the company. It is quite easy to ascertain the state of health of the company. If you spend some time talking to the staff individually and you will soon be able to learn about the negative state of health of the organisation. The staff usually know the cause of the problems and the solutions to them.

In addition to talking, the tongue can be used to chew, mix, taste and swallow food. Even when you are sleeping, your tongue is busy pushing saliva down the throat to be swallowed, otherwise you will be drooling all over the pillow. Similarly corporate communication is the tongue of the organisation and is the way all business entities interact with each other during the course of business. . Corporate communication also serves multiple functions of improving corporate image, strengthening teamwork and corporate culture as well as handling difficult situations and customers. How an organisation communicates with its employees, its extended audiences, the press and the public at large will reveal its corporate character and values.

The importance of communication especially the spoken word cannot be over- emphasised. The Bible said:”Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it for death or life.” It also mentioned that “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaketh.” There are many passages in the Bible on the wrong and right uses of the tongue as through the tongue you are bound your words and by your declarations.

Oftentimes, relationships break down because of poor communication. Marriage counsellors can testify that the poor communication is frequently the cause of marital conflicts and failures. When communication breaks down, it results in misunderstanding, rumour mongering, negative comments or verbal diarrhoea, which eventually lead to ill health. Also, when communication breaks down in the company, the rapport, metabolism and chemistry of the people suffer.

The turnaround manager needs to create a culture marked with candour and straight talk. In the modern world, market information and ideas are precious and highly perishable commodities that need to be speedily exploited and acted upon in order to fully harness their value. Therefore, the organisational communication lines must be short, direct and healthy.

Mike Teng
http://www.articlesbase.com/management-articles/the-tongue-is-the-window-of-your-corporate-health-88086.html

Duration : 24 min 10 sec

Technorati Tags: commitment

Duration : 0:5:19

Technorati Tags: "communication, Blessed Sacrament Church, BSC, marriage, Noel Campos

The US environmental policy is being dismantled by a government in denial, while more and more evidence pours in about global warming (small things like hurricane Katina).

Politicians cry about our dependency on foreign oil while our cars are getting bigger and bigger and government doesn’t do anything to really improve gas mileage. Their only suggested solution is going into our reserves in pristine Alaska and using that up too.

It’s sort of like the family who can’t budget… then… blames the banks and the credit card companies for having to spend their retirement account on a Hummer so they can look more macho than they feel.

And then what about the domestic problems? We are worried about the Mexicans coming up here and taking our jobs… at the same time… tons of higher paying jobs… the ones Americans really want, are being shipped abroad without a word when was the last time you called Microsoft or HP or AOL and didn’t get India?

And I keep hearing about more freedom, less government and less spending while what I see is less freedom, more government and the biggest debt our nation has ever faced.

How about those tax cuts… but this is confusing because to have a “True Tax Cut”, you have to reduce spending… anything else is a tax re-distribution. If the government keeps spending more and the rich keep paying less, someone else ends up with the bill. That’s redistribution … it’s the middle class and the poor footing the bill.

I am also told our government is at war on terror and yet that seems to be the only thing they are promoting… terror. I am much more afraid to travel abroad now than ever. We are making enemies around the world at an alarming rate.

And what are we doing to solve all of these problems? We’re attacking the gay people of America. The one thing almost all of our current government officials can agree on is… it’s the gays fault. We can’t even have them in the military or the most powerful fighting machine in the world will fall apart (that’s a scary thought).

We can’t have them getting married or the institution of marriage will fall apart? These are incredibly powerful people, if all this is true. I say send a small group to Iraq and the terrorist will run in TERROR.

I have spent years as a communication coach, teaching in government, schools, prisons and to the public. And, not once, have I met anyone who has said their marriage was great until those gay guys down the street got married (or for that matter started living together). No one has told me they had a good job with great pay but when the gay women next door got married, they just stopped going to work, started drinking the next day and before they knew it… they were beating the wife and molesting the kids.

Believe me, from my work in prison, I heard almost every story you can image and many you can’t, but I have never heard of a good relationship falling apart because of the gays getting married…. So now it time to ask yourself and your government what’s really important…

Dear government officials Kevin Lundberg, Marylyn Musgrave, President Bush:

It’s time to stop wasting tax payer dollars and your time and go to work solving real issues… but first let me put my money where my mouth is. I will personally pay a $1,000 donation to the charity of your choice if you can prove to a panel of experts (counselors and therapists) that any couple had a normal, healthy relationship with good communication, and that relationship was destroyed because some gay people got married.

Clean water and air for the future, jobs in America worth having, energy prices we can afford, a foreign policy that doesn’t antagonize the rest of the world so it’s safe to travel, an education system that has funding and oh yeah what about health care and social security?

Are those things more important or do we want our government to focus all of its power, resources and your tax dollars on preventing gays from enjoying the frustration, upsets, heart-break and challenges of marriage the rest us suffer?

This isn’t about me being gay and needing y rights to be protected. This is about leaders actually leading. Please, please, please… stop the stupid witch hunt and start leading us. Cause our thinking to expand, not contract. Create hope, possibility and inclusion, not fear and separation. Use your power to create a tomorrow our kids can be proud of.

Paul Sterling & Kristin Denton
http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/quotblame-it-on-gay-marriage-1000-rewardquot-69581.html

Duration : 0:7:18

Technorati Tags: "communication, divorce, marriage, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage family counseling, marriage tips, relationships

Saving a marriage or a relationship is often difficult as it is often delicate. You tend to be cautious about everything, always worried about making a wrong move and losing the person completely. You might wonder if there is anything you can do to save your marriage, to revive the relationship and to eventually bring back your love. You can do that but often what feels like the right thing to do, is often wrong.

There are many instances, when you have the urge to make the first move and call. However, that is often a bad move and it is actually better to cool off and stay put. When you feel like telling the person you love about everything in your heart, this is again one of the worst thing you can do. What you should do instead is to keep quiet and keep all your feelings to yourself.

So, the techniques that you are about to read may not seem right or feel right, or maybe they maybe something that you have not seen before. They are, however, been proven time and time again that it works very well, even in very complicated and tricky situations. So, just be open about them, try them and you’ll be surprised with the results :

Step 1 : Tell yourself that your other half, your love has broken up with you.

Accept this fact. By accepting the breakup, you’ll be able to understand why the breakup happen and hence may lead to helping you get back together. This is not going to be easy for you but this is necessary to allow your ex time to respect and miss you again. Instead of you beating down at their door, nagging them to get back with you when they are upset, you are giving them time to cool down and reflect on what has happened.

Step 2 : Stop all communication or contact with your ex.

What? Can’t help yourself? You have to stop! This technique does work very well as it shows your ex that you are serious about accepting the breakup and showing that you are actually listening to your ex. By doing so you are also getting your ex to calm down and with time, not so upset with whatever reasons that your ex broke up with you and perhaps even forget about why. Besides, you will also benefit from the space and the time away from your ex. Take this time to look within and in healing yourself. You’ll be able to think much more clearer and keep your mental health in check. This way, you may have increased your chances to save your marriage and get your ex back.

Alison Lee
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/how-to-save-your-marriage-using-these-techniques-700343.html