Archive for relationship communication
Relationship Communication
Posted by: | CommentsThere are 12 barriers to relationship communication that will strain the relationship to breaking point.Thomas Gordon came up with these 12 roadblocks if you want satisfying and fulfilling relationships.
1. Criticizing. Criticism involves judgmental states that usually put down a person. “Don’t do it that way”, “You’re wrong”, “You’re not very good at…”, and “You need to lose weight” are a few simple criticisms. We think criticism changes people, though it only reveals our own problems. Kill this barrier before it kills your relationships.
2. Labeling. Labels are names. An extreme form of labels is name-calling. “You’re a jerk”, “You are silly”, and “I think you’re mean” are some examples of labeling. Labeling is a barrier to communication because it categorizes people. It assumes people to have characteristics and destroys uniqueness that makes an enjoyable relationship.
3. Diagnosing. A diagnosis is one of the more complex barriers to effective communication. It involves reading into a person’s behavior. I call it “playing the amateur psychologist”. Some examples of the diagnosing barrier are: “You’re just jealous about…”, “You need to be happier”, and “Stop trying to antagonize me.”
4. Praising. People are always surprised when they hear praise is a communication barrier. Praise is not always a barrier because it depends on how it is given. Praise is so often poorly given as it makes people – especially children – dependent on receiving verbal rewards. “You’re a good boy”, “I love you for doing what you did”, and “You’re a lovely person because you think about me”. Learn to praise a person’s behavior, and be specific, to avoid evaluative praise and making people dependent on your praise.
5. Ordering. Orders are controlling statements to get people doing something. They are akin to dictatorship. “Go wash the dishes”, “Stop complaining”, and “Stop fighting with…” Orders force people to comply based on authoritative power. The result is resistant change and resentment. It is very common for people to rebel against orders so they regain their freedom. Psychologists call this “psychological reactance”
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6. Threatening. A threat is similar to an order, except it has emphasis on punishment. “Go wash the dishes or I won’t cook for you tomorrow night”, “Stop complaining or you’ll be sent to your room”, “Stop fighting with… or you’ll be grounded”. Just like orders, threats create fear, temporary results, and resentment – while killing a relationship.
7. Questioning. How could questioning be a barrier to effective communication? Like praise, there are types of questioning that make it a roadblock to good relationship communication. Rhetorical questions is one common form of poor questioning. Examples include, “Why do you disobey me?” “Why do you always do wrong?” and “What about my needs? You constantly ignore them.”
These are 7 of 12 barriers to effective communication. When you overcome all 12 barriers to effective communication, you communicate openly, intimately, understand you’re partner – all the while creating change in your relationships.
By Joshua Ubergang
How to Deal With the Negative Influence of your Husband’s Ex-wife On your Relationship
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When you are in any kind of relationship and the ex lover or spouse still has a presence in the other person’s life, it can be hard. This is especially true if the ex is causing a problem with the new relationship that is going on. Many people who have to deal with this problem in their life and they have to think of ways that will help them get through it.
When you truly love someone, you will find ways to work around just about any problem. This will also include the negative influence of your husband’s ex wife. You will have to come to terms with the problem and together you will have to come up with a solution that will make everyone involved happy and able to go on with his or her life.
If an ex wife is trying to make your relationship sour with your husband, you will have to do something about it. You can choose to ignore the problem and not worry about it, but this is not a very realistic idea. Most people that are in this situation will have to eventually say something and do something about it. You cannot just sit back and let someone try and ruin your relationship.
The first thing that you need to do when your husband’s ex wife is having a negative effect on your relationship is to discuss it with your husband. You have to make sure that he knows how you feel. You may want to ask him to talk to the ex wife and see if she would step back for a while. This may not always be a good idea depending on how well the ex and the husband get along.
If the husband has no luck talking to the ex wife, you may have to take care of this problem on your own. There is no sense in threatening the woman. Violence is never the answer and it will only get you in a bigger mess than what you are already in. If the women are making your marriage stressed, you should tell her how you feel.
If she has no remorse and does not agree to leave you alone, you should simple wipe her out. Block her phone number from your home phone, do not accept her mail or any other phone calls and try to ignore her completely.
Some times the ex wife is not even physically in the relationship. There are some cases where there is just so much tension from the past that it is causing some problems in your marriage now. If your husband’s ex wife was mean or had a bad temper, you may see that your relationship with your husband now is stressed. He may feel that the same thing is going to happen with you. Maybe other issues he had to deal with while he was married to the ex have to be sorted out. If so, your husband may not have worked through those problems and now it is hard for him to move on with you.
You need to work through these problems with your husband. Communication is the key to keeping your marriage on track and for going in the right direction. You want to make sure that you are keeping the lines of communication open so that you can discuss freely and problems that you are having. Talk to him about the negative effects that the ex wife has placed upon your marriage. Find out if there is anything that can be changed to make the situation more comfortable for both of you in the marriage.
If the talking is not working, you may have to take the next step and that may be counseling. This is something that you can do to make try and fix the problem. You have to be ready to go the distance when you are married and if that means that you have to seek counseling, so be it. There is nothing to be ashamed of and you may find that you have lasting results that can better your marriage all around.
The main thing to do when your husband’s ex wife is having a negative effect on your relationship is to talk about it. Sort through the details and try and come up with new ideas to make the problem go away or to be resolved.
You have to figure out a way for everyone to get along so that there can be peace with everyone. This is of course especially true if there are children involved. All of the appropriate steps have to be taken to ensure that the children are not bothered by this problem that the adults are having.
Mailcucan
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/how-to-deal-with-the-negative-influence-of-your-husbands-exwife-on-your-relationship-73289.html
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Lost Communications Part 1 – Aviation Video #36
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A radio malfunction is urgent, but you still have time to troubleshoot and perform a few important tasks when entering a traffic pattern with no working radio.
Duration : 4 min 14 sec
Restore a Broken Relationship With an Ex Girlfriend
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If you and your girlfriend just broke up and you really love her, you probably feel too empty without her. Everything seems lifeless and the only person that could bring back life and happiness in your life now is her. But it is also a fact that once a relationship is broken, it will take sometime to heal and repair the damaged relationship. But do not lose hope because it is not impossible to restore a broken relationship with an ex girlfriend if you know what to do.
It may take time to heal and fix a damaged relationship but here are some tips on how to restore a broken relationship with an ex girlfriend:
Love. This is the most important thing in any romantic relationship. You cannot restore a broken relationship without it. Before trying to fix the relationship, be sure you are doing it for the right reason and that is love. A relationship not based on love is hard to keep and will not stand the test of time. Love will keep you motivated in winning your ex girlfriend back.
Determination. If you want to restore a broken relationship, of course you need to be determined. You have to be firm that you want to make the relationship work again. If you do not have the determination, you may find yourself getting depressed when things are not happening the way you want it to happen. Remember that fixing a relationship is not that easy but if you are determined to focus on your goal to get her back, she will see your sincerity and will recognize your efforts to get her back.
Timing. Most people when faced with heartaches or break ups cannot control their feelings and became impatient. Rushing her or begging her to comeback to you will scare her and push her away from you. If she wants space and time then give it to her. Even if you are doing the right things but the timing is not right, things will not get better. If you want to restore a broken relationship, timing is important.
Communication. Gathering with common friends is a good start to reconnect with each other and restore a broken relationship with an ex girlfriend. Making small steps to get in touch and communicate is a safe way to make a connection again. She will feel less pressured but will still feel your presence. Things will not go back to what it used to be in an instant, just be content with small development and things will get better in time.
Seek help. It is important to find the right techniques to restore your broken relationship. If you are using techniques that seems not to work, you need to seek help. There are relationship experts that could give you the best advice on how to restore a broken relationship with an ex girlfriend.
Winning an ex girlfriend back could be really hard if you do not know how. Discover more techniques to make her want you back visit Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
To know more about love and relationships visit All About Relationships
Gerry Restrivera
http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/restore-a-broken-relationship-with-an-ex-girlfriend-683817.html
Is your Relationship Really Over?
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Relationships, are the best of times are complex conundrums. From whether you’ll walk up the rose-strewn path with your partner to whether the robust romance is still present, certain questions keep plaguing the mind when you hitch your lot with another person. However, the most important, and, of course, heartbreaking question is whether your relationship has outlived its time. Irrevocable breakdown in communication, too many irreconcilable differences, lack of intimacy, etc. are some issues that many relationships have to deal with. Some overcome these problems, while others flounder. The trick, however, is to recognise the signs that portend the end of a relationship.
Communication Capers
The basis of any relationship is communication; the ability to share one’s feelings and thoughts and the security that there’s someone who’ll listen to you. When this security is breached, a couple often feels that there’s nothing to talk about. There’s a feeling of claustrophobia that you can’t combat unless you step out of each other’s way. This is also the time when squabbles over minor issues escalate into bitter arguments. A forgotten chore or a wet towel on the bed assumes gigantic proportions of no return. The communication breakdown is so complete that you and your partner may not even return each other’s calls.
Niggling Negativity
Remember when you were basking in the first flush of love, how you’d constantly talk about your partner, and always in glowing terms? Unfortunately, that may not be the case anymore. If it is the beginning of the end for your relationship, then you probably either avoid talking about your partner, or whenever you do, you only criticise him/her. Your friends only hear a litany of complaints, as you only highlight his/her ills. Grouses and grievances pertaining to your partner are now commonplace conversation pieces for you. And this is a big giveaway about your relationship being on an extremely rocky patch. Negativity also entails reliving past painful moments constantly, either with your partner, or friends as well as making negative comments about the other person’s physical appearance, like how they’ve gained weight or look sloppy, etc.
Absolute Avoidance
When you love someone, you want to be with that person – emotionally, physically, sexually. If you suddenly find that you are deliberately avoiding your partner, perhaps your relationship is on the path of no return. Rather than fight about the same old issues, you deem it better to just avoid the person, and thereby the fights. At times, the lack of intimacy is so pronounced that you can’t stand the touch of the other person. Forget sex, even routine cuddling is ruled out. And sex, or intimacy, is vital for the survival of any relationship as it makes the other person feel wanted and desired. When a couple starts sleeping separately, they need to rethink on whether their relationship can be salvaged at all.
Memory Mania
Your memory is a treacherous animal. And at times it unveils what you really feel about your relationship. If, even unconsciously, you want to end your relationship, you may find that you are forgetting important dates, occasions, previously planned dinners or dates etc. Most often, you consciously want to forget dates that are associated with your relationship. When this happens, it doesn’t bode too well for your relationship.
Alternate Attraction
This is the best giveaway that your relationship may just be beyond salvation. When your partner, or you finds someone else who occupies all your waking hours (or even sleeping ones), it is a dangerous sign. A passing flirtation is one thing, but a sustained relationship is quite another. And then when neither of you wants to make the effort to save your relationship, by either ending the ‘outside’ attraction ar at least talking about it, your relationship may well be over. If you find someone else who is more interesting, whom you’d rather talk to than your partner, then may be it is time for you to bid goodbye to your current partner.
Relationships are definitely not finite. And their problems are not absolute either. Every obstacle can be overcome, if the attention is there. So, never mind what the signs proclaim, with a little bit of effort and heartfelt initiative, your relationship just may reach the happily-ever-after stage…
Michael Douglas
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/is-your-relationship-really-over-81181.html
Have You Ever Considered the Big C Commitment in Your Relationship?
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Have you ever considered the Big C Commitment in your relationship?
Have you wondered what one simple word is that each of us has to carry out in the relationship? The word is commitment. I have seen many couples have been executing their commitment in their relationship, ensuring that they have contributed something. Sometimes, in relationship, some couple can be much occupied in their own stuff that they cannot have much time to commit with each other. Commitment can be very challenging to some couples because some of them are pretty new to committing in relationship and they generally get lost somewhere. They really wish to stay happily together, so they have to consider this big C – commitment in their relationship. With a huge commitment made, there is always a harvest in return. So, for those readers who are reading this piece of article, do not feel very awkward to yourself.
Many people are afraid of the big C – also known as commitment. However, without commitment many relationships are doomed for failure. Some people are so afraid of committing in a relationship that they actually have a phobia about it. Many relationships end suddenly because one partner is ready for a commitment and the other is not. Whether you are thinking about a marriage commitment or just interested in dating your partner exclusively, commitment is a big step and one that both partners need to agree upon before taking together. If one party is committed and the other is not, a troubled journey lies ahead. Here are some issues to take into consideration to help determine if you are ready for a commitment.
First, you need to ask yourself if your partner is your number one priority in life. Do you find that you think constantly about your relationship and make plans for both you and your partner? If you are only thinking about yourself, then you may not be ready for a commitment. However, if you find that any time you need to make a major decision you wonder how your partner would feel about it, then you may be on the road to a monogamous future.
Another area to consider is how you handle troublesome times in your relationship. When arguments or difficulties arise, do you and your partner tend to work things out in a calm manner? Or do you secretly just wish you could end the relationship. If you don’t feel that you have the desire to work through issues now, it is unlikely that will change if you become a committed couple. Working through difficulties together is a vital component of a committed relationship.
What is the overall tone of your relationship? Would you consider your relationship to be rocky, stable, up and down, exciting, or boring? Do you and your partner communicate well? Do you feel that he listens and understands what you have to say and vice versa? Communication is extremely vital to the future of any relationship and if you have communication issues now, you can only expect them to get worse over time.
Also, how do you react when you see an attractive guy or girl? Does your eye immediately wander? Do you wonder if you would be better suited with them? Or do you instantly think of your partner and reflect on how satisfied you are with him or her. If you find that you are content with your partner, you may be ready to commit.
Another question to ask you is this, “What does your gut instinct say?” Does your heart tell you that this is the one for you? Do you believe that you could spend the rest of your life with this person? Trusting your gut instinct is a great way to determine if you are ready for the big C. Your mind may play games on you, logic may interfere, but what is your heart telling you. If you believe that you could love this person forever, then why not give it a shot. Don’t let a fear of commitment rob you from the future joy you could have with your partner.
Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.
I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
Any <a href=”http://www.squidoo.com/how_can_i_retrieve_my_ex_lover_back” target=”_blank”>tips on getting my girlfriend back</a>? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?
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You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.
dhlim88
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/have-you-ever-considered-the-big-c-commitment-in-your-relationship-593029.html
I have been in relationship going on 12 years. I’m not married and have 3 kids by this guy. We barely have any communication, and we surely can’t agree on anything without having an argument. Is there any advice anyone can give me to help and save my relationship?
Try counseling…otherwise, it may be time to move on.
How You Can Save Your Relationship
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The first step in saving a relationship is deciding if it is worth saving and if you are trying to save it for the right reason. Some people think that they need to save their relationship for the children. This does the children no good. Children need to be raised by people that are living in a healthy relationship and are true to each other, not one that is fake for the sake of the children. Children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for and they will see right through you.
Both people in a relationship have to be on the same page if the relationship has any hope of being saved. The old saying “It takes 2 to tango” can apply to this situation. If one person in the relationship is not interested, there is little that can be done. You must figure out what the problem is. Sometimes when people are trying to save a relationship they think that the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. An example of this would be when there is an affair involved. You may think that the affair is the problem when in reality the problem in the relationship is an underlying problem that drove the person to have the affair in the first place.
Communication in the relationship will usually bring out the reason for the person straying. This is the most important step in saving the relationship. Sharing each others thoughts may seem like a hurtful scenario to follow but you need to be honest and reassure each other that you are still in love and only saying these things to heal the relationship. Once the two of you start to deal with the underlying issue, you will be on your way to saving the relationship.
The next step in saving the relationship would be to create a plan to solve the problem or problems you have pin pointed. You will then need to implement the plan. If your life takes you in opposite directions and you don’t see each other much, plan a date night or even a lunch together. Another option would be to plan a certain day of the week to get together for a movie night. If each of you think of different ways to spend time together it will bring excitement back into the relationship. If communication seems to be the problem between the two of you, try setting aside a half hour before going to bed for talking. Sometimes laying in bed in the dark and talking makes it easier for the words to flow. Whatever plan you decide to pursue, stick to it.
Saving a relationship won’t happen over night. The relationship didn’t fall apart in one day so it will take some time, and work on both sides to repair. Sometimes you may feel that you are taking two steps forward and one step back and you probably are, but that is how the process works. You will both experience some pain but if you are sincere, truthful and persistent you will enjoy many moments of fun and laughter. Be kind to each other, apologize when needed and slow to blame and you will be well on your way to saving your relationship.
If your relationship is worth saving, I have described, tried and true, steps in this article that will enable you to stay together and live a long happy life together. Live, laugh and love life!
The steps above are a starting point in mending a broken relationship. Getting back with an ex is a bit more complicated than what is outlined here but it is a good start and will get you well on your way to getting your ex back.
For a more detailed plan that will help you get your ex back click here
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Teddy Tedbos
http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/how-you-can-save-your-relationship-756377.html

As a result of stress, a person’s frames of reference can drastically change. Learn about stress as a communication problem in relationships with advice in this free video from an expert on interpersonal communications.